MARCH

8 MON
What The Fish? Fengshui master Hui Jie says that the beleaguered Jack Neo should install a fish pond to counter the negativity of his overblown affairs. The pond, Master Hui says, will resolve his personal crisis and ensure that there will be no repeat of such scandals. The expert also recommends a miniature fountain inside Neo’s home.

9 TUE
Sticky Vandal Residents of a particular Normanton Park block are furious that a locksmith has taken to pasting his stickers all over the place. Stickers advertising his services are to be found at the lift lobbies of every floor, on fire hydrants, water pipes, stairways and even residents’ doors. Residents consider this vandalism and want the authorities to deal with him.

10 WED
Gassy Stuff Netizens are appalled by a story about students inhaling helium from helium cylinders found on their school premises. In photographs posted online, the boys are seen taking turns to inhale the odorless gas. A reader goes on to warn of the dangers of such acts which can result in lung damage, seizures and death.

11 THU
A Journey Begins Permanent residents who want to become citizens will have to take an online quiz on Singapore history before they are issued their pink identity cards. This is part of a program called the Singapore Citizenship Journey, which includes learning about National Service and the Pledge, as well as going on tours to historic sites.

12 FRI
Fake Cop Hammered A man was jailed 15 months for attacking a man who pretended to be a police officer. The fake cop had earlier ticked off several youths for smoking at an HDB fitness corner in Yishun. The teens called their older friends and one of them, Nur Shahid Borhanuddin, thrashed the daylights out of cop wannabe Andrew Ong, leaving the latter with bruises on his head and face.